■ Teresa is flipping between OXYGEN, LIFETIME, the TRAVEL CHANNEL and THE SCI-FI CHANNEL, in effect watching a movie about anorexic sex-crazed giant spiders on a romantic European holiday.
THE INTERNET URINAL SAVED MY MARRIAGE
“Don’t get me wrong- my Harold has been a good husband and provider for nearly forty years- until his retirement. Then everything changed!”
“Our son Lloyd works at micro-something or -other- it has something to do with computers. Lloyd means well, but I rue the day he brought it into our home- An ugly beige box. Harold was immediately smitten- like a kid with a new toy.”
“Ever since then, I have had to watch Matlock alone… Harold is always playing with imaginary cards, sending and getting that ’email’ from the kids. The worst part is, he becomes so obsessed, sometimes he, just cannot be bothered to get up and go to the bathroom (which is downstairs, and he isn’t as spry as he used to be)… BUT since I bought him the XJ44 Internet Urinal (composed of space-age material guaranteed not to rust, crack or leak when used properly) I haven’t had to tend to Harold (Why the hell can’t he do the simplest cleaning tasks?). Whereas I was once on the verge of seeking a d-i-v-o-r-c-e, we have settled into a comfortable life of mutual indifference. Thanks, Amazon!!” https://amzn.to/3DoQmzZ