Tag: puns

We didn’t start the fire

NeverJetHot April 14, 2023 Leave a Comment on We didn’t start the fire

[2019] The clean air authority here in Washington offered a big rebate for replacing our wood stove insert, under certain circumstances. So I was down…

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Let’s go GeoCaching!

LibraryThing

5/30 Neighbor was complaining that she couldn't afford her water bill. I felt bad about that and sent her a "Get well soon" card.
5/26 I don't know how to act my age since I've never been this old before.
5/1/23 My idiot friend says, "Dude, your toilet kicked me in the shins when I tried to flush it!" So I said "STOP pissing on my RECLINER!!"
4/30/23 Saw one of those HOW'S MY DRIVING?" bumper stickers today. I say, worry about your own driving, Mac! I am more concerned about MY driving these days.

Grainger just sent me "LADDER SAFETY TIPS". I'm not sure I would have said TIPS there. Maybe HINTS?

Did you ever make a cup of coffee, and discover later that you forgot to put a pod in? I thought it tasted weird. Mrs. Olson would shit her pants.

You might think of me as an ebay guy, but we've got lots of stuff on Mercari as well. they have a different flavor of crap for sale.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

After a thorough review of my various ailments, Doctor recommended mud baths for me. I asked him, is that going to help?
He says no, but it would help me get used to being in the dirt.

I promised myself I would give up the ebay nonsense, but hey, it's a hobby, and I actually make some money when it washes out at the end of the month. Like Aunt Bee's driver's license. Normally you would have to drive up to Mount Pilot for stuff like this.
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