I want FASTER Monopoly, not this monstrosity

I previously posted here about our experience with the https://www.neverjethot.com/posts/speed-die-monopoly-faster-but-more-evil/ – We like to move things along, because of short attention spans I guess.

So imagine my dismay and morbid curiosity when I saw this sadistic Monopoly game on DeviantArt;

If this becomes a real game, buy stock in Kimberly-Clark, because there will be tears.