We didn’t start the fire

[2019] The clean air authority here in Washington offered a big rebate for replacing our wood stove insert, under certain circumstances. So I was down on the floor looking for a serial plate or something to identify this monstrosity.

This model has channels underneath, and the kids that used to live here, used it to store toys I guess. I found some sort of light-up Lego thing, a gear that probably goes with that, a Hot Wheels car, a plastic dart, some pink(ish) nail polish, and a pile of rubble. You would think the nail polish would have burst into flame. The reporters would ask the fire marshal what caused the fire, and he would shrug and say, “Maybe it’s Maybelline.”

POSTSCRIPT: I took several months to get qualified and have a contractor install a gas fireplace; unfortunately I thought it would make enough heat without a fan; it does not. So now I need to clear some space around the fuse panel, then have an electrician install a fan assembly with a remote control while I’m at it. Live and learn!