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So this guy goes to his doctor with many unpleasant symptoms. The doctor looks at his blood panel and gives him an exam, and tells the patient he has to run some tests that require hospitalization.

Later at the hospital, he grimaces for he has unpleasant news.

“I don’t know where you have been to pick it up, but you have GASH.”

The patient is alarmed, this sounds bad. “What is GASH??”

“It’s a combination of Gonnhorea, Aids, Syphilis, and Herpes. He gets out his notebook… “I am prescribing a diet of Flatbread,,, Pizza… You can have poptarts, pancakes… The patient interrupts; “Is this going to help me get better?”

“No, it’s just the only things I can think of that we can slide under the door.”

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE

The patient gets worse and worse. Finally the doctor orders mudbaths for him. The patient asks “What will mud baths do for me?” The doctor replies, “It will help you get used to being in the dirt.”

THE PATIENT WANTS TO KNOW how long he is expected to live. “8”, says the doctor.

“Eight years? Months?”

“7…. 6…. 5….”

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