I can never read newspaper comment threads again

I may never read newspaper comment threads again, because I can’t top this.

Here is a run of the mill story about a young lady who had contraband in her cooch¹ (Can I say “cooch” here?) and then told the police it wasn’t hers. This occurs more often than one would think, maybe they belong to a boyfriend who is so addled with drugs as to think this is a secure hiding place?

But I digress. I read the comments mainly because I was struck² by how very pleased with herself she seemed to be in her mugshot. This comment from “OuttaSpc” stopped me in my tracks;
At first I thought “you’ve got to be kidding me,” but I just checked my OWN private area and I found a nylon spatula, some Flintstone’s vitamins, a cordless drill, and a copy of the St. Pete Times from 1946³.

What a mysterious world we live in. 

… Now how will anyone top that?

¹ The story can be found at Bradenton.com. I found it via one of my favorite weird news websites, ObscureStore.com.

² Didn’t know if I was “Stricken” or “Struck” so I had to Consult with WSU. I still don’t think it looks right. Maybe next time, I will be “flabbergasted”.

³ This violated the “Rule of Threes”, which just goes to show, rules are made to be broken.