Bazooka Joe, what have you done?

There is a lady at my workplace who constantly chews gum. Always. This is Violet from the Willy Wonka movie all grown up. I don’t know if she is trying to quit smoking, or thinks it looks cool, or what. 

So I asked her if I could ask a personal question, which was “Does, Does your chewing gum lose it’s flavor on the bedpost overnight?” She laughed and said she doesn’t even have a bedpost. I took that as a no. She proceeded to complain that gum flavor doesn’t last at all anymore, I wonder if she is just less sensitive to it? 

Maybe the big gum conglamorates should take note. I hear that sales are declining because people don’t buy stuff at the checkstand as much, too busy farting around with their cellphones. Maybe the store chain’s loyalty app could sense the proximity and cause the Doublemint twins to ride their tandem bike across the screen with a banner promoting “Now with XJ29 added for longer lasting spearmint flavor!”