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They say that leaded gasoline lowered the IQ of people of my generation by 2.6 points. It was probably twice as bad for me, like 6.2 points.

See, dad had a 62 Mercury Monterey station wagon. It had these long tail light lenses. When he was warming up the car to go somewhere, I sometimes passed the time by peering through the lens that made everything red. Usually, the one right above the tailpipe, of course.

The IQ reducing effect was probably magnified by The Flintstones, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, and a steady diet of Quisp cereal.

So that’s why I am stupid. I don’t know that the current generation of morons can blame it on.

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