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I am ashamed to admit that I fell for the comic book ad and ordered Sea Monkeys. At one point I recall I had the “deluxe” aquarium, with the magnifying surface on one side? Those shrimp were probably terrified of “the giant eye”! I was just trying to raise them up big enough to put a bow and lipstick on one of the females, like the ad. Or at least, be able to tell them apart. I was a strange child, but Sea Monkeys are still around, so I must not be the only one.

They put a little cocaine in the Seamonkey chow.

I think my dad regrets not sending me to military school.

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