Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it.
He decided to ask his shrink what to do.
The shrink said that since Christmas was coming up, he
should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he
cussed, he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the
Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s dad asked Johnny what he
wanted. Johnny said, “I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying
right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning.
Then, when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin’ train
going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want
to see a red-assed fuckin’ bike leaning up against the damn
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a
big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a
bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his
head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the
garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his
His dad smiled and asked… “So Johnny, what did Santa bring
you this year?”
Johnny replied, “I think I got a fuckin’ dog but I can’t find
the son of a bitch.”