Worst. Santa. Ever.

I hope that Teresa is only slightly disappointed this Christmas. That’s the best I can hope for.

It does help that she made a wish list on Amazon. But I feel like just selecting stuff from the list and ordering it, that’s only one step above just getting her gift cards. Even that is a minefield. It turns out, there is nothing she likes in Dick’s Sporting Goods, although she was looking at the guns.

And don’t get me started on clothes. If she already has good slippers, I am liable to bring her some of this;

Yes yes, you can all have Olivetti typewriters. Now get out of my office, those colors are making my hangover worse.

Teresa doesn’t know how to salute anyway; she only uses one finger.

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