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Back in the day, the Double Mint gum people made all sorts of spurious claims about the healthful benefits of chewing gum- Supposed to be good for your teeth and your breath, etc.

Double Mint chewing gum matchbook cover.

Most of the adults I have known who chewed gum, were trying to quit cigarettes. I attributed their malaise and general bad attitudes to nicotine withdrawal.

The hollowed-out carcass of a doublemint gum chewer.

Little did I know the gum was stealing their souls, leaving only a hollow-eyed wreck behind. Take this gum-zombie, add a covid face mask- It’s the stuff of nightmares.

I read recently that checkstand items, such as chewing gum, were suffering declining sales- people in line are too busy monkeying with their cell phones. If I owned a grocery, I would set up a gum vending machine and make all those crazy floor arrows point at it.

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