Unicorns are just goats that broke a horn off.
I was cutting through the toy department at Fred Meyer but these unicorns stopped me in my tracks. These unicorns “really poop!” Why is that a good thing? I guess it draws attention away from the fact that they all look like Miss Piggy going to a rave.

If I was a department store Santa, I would say “You’ll poop your eye out kid!” and then shove the little tyke down the slide.