Posted in Back in My Day

How to Marl your boro

I bought something from someone in the Netherlands, and they helpfully included this instruction manual. Apparently the process of opening a pack of cigs has a learning curve? You will probably find that it does not “taste good like a cigarette should”… rather “It tastes bad, like the one you just had”.

Maybe if you go with step 4 and give one to a friend, they will share their Mad Dog with you.

How to open and enjoy tour soft-pack cigarettes.
Posted in Mildly Interesting

What would TSA think of this portable Zenith?

This portable (luggable?) Zenith radio featured a proprietary antenna that flipped out from the radio to pull in stronger or more distant am radio signals.

1940's zenith portable radio with wavemagnet $29.95

When stowed, it looked like a small, elegant suitcase. I have a https://neverjethot.com/blog/2019/02/25/happy-to-be-playing-again/ Zenith Transoceanic, which pulls in shortwave bands as well. It has a provision to run on batteries as well, but I wouldn’t call it “portable”. Wouldn’t it be sweet if devices had today’s technology, but the Zenith’s old world craftsmanship?

Posted in Back in My Day

OH. Those Christmas cards.

When I was a kid, I sold Christmas cards door to door, from a sample catalog. They were beautiful cards, with all manner of sparkly crap and embossed gold or silver bits. The ones that Walmart sells just don’t cut it. So we ordered the fanciest ones we could find. I like to beat Aunt Jean to the punch if I can.

Mailman sorting letters and daydreaming about his postal pension.
“Just 22 years, 3 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days… Then I can collect that sweet, sweet pension…”
Posted in Flotsam, Observations

Bring it back! #112719

Seems like every day I find that something is better the way it used to be. Case in point, Ipana squeeze bottle toothpaste.

Toothpaste tubes are just nasty. Looking for an alternative, I see that Amazon has pump bottle toothpaste, (expensive) and even toothpaste tablets that you chew to get it foaming, then brush. Yuk.

What happened to the simple squeeze bottle toothpaste? They could make it recyclable plastic; The plastic filament my 3d printer uses is derived from renewable resources like cornstarch, sugar cane, tapioca roots and potato starch. That would be perfect.

Posted in Observations

Santa is in a minefield

I never know what to get my wife for Christmas. They are pushing those fancy Pelotin exercise bikes on TV as a gift, with some inane zoomer taking 38 selfies before she even gets on the thing. I’m like, Really, I’m to get her an exercise machine for Christmas? I think not. No vacuum cleaners or kitchen utensils either. We haven’t been married 36 years for me to get el kabonged with a new skillet.

A sweater might go over well, a yellow one- if she is as high as the lady in this ad, there will be Cheetos dust.

Posted in Mildly Interesting, Observations

Professional farts

We used to own a novelty store. One day I was searching for wholesale remote control fart machines (Think whoopie cushions but electronic). There is a company in China offering these;

I don’t know what the Chinese researchers use this for, but godspeed to them. Maybe someday everyone will have flowery, wonderfully aromatic farts, as I do.

Posted in Back in My Day, Flotsam

Cash, Grass, or…

I had a sticker on my dashboard years ago, the one that says “CASH GRASS or ASS*. Nobody rides for free.” Usually, my friend Mario was riding shotgun, I didn’t smoke grass, Mario had no cash, and I certainly didn’t want his ass. So it wasn’t a very effective sticker.

*I did not select the one that said “GAS, grass or ass” because my friends always fueled up at the “Fill ‘Em Fast” (Whose unofficial slogan was “Fill ‘Em Fast with Cheap-ass Gas”). My 442 preferred something with Techron or whatever.

Posted in Mildly Interesting

Grandma’s soap saver

I was listening to the Larry Miller podcast, he was going on about saving soap slivers in the shower, somehow mushing them together to form a bar sufficient to bathe with. Apparently that is how they roll on the island of Milleronia.

Larry would be thrilled to have one of these Soap Banks. I found them in my dad’s old 1951 Jensen-Byrd wholesale supplier catalog. You just put your odd soap slivers inside, get it wet, and let the DuPont Cellulose sponge get nice and sudsy. That generation had endured the Great Depression and they were keen on saving money.